Yesterday was a day of a couple firsts in well over a year by now. It was a really nice day and the sun was low enough so as not to be in my eyes on my drive home. I decided that it would be nice to open the sun roof. I haven’t had it open since we lost Dylan. The thought of the bright world invading my darkness was just too much. Until yesterday. It made me think of Dylan for whatever reason. The Civic he was driving had a sun roof. Did he ever open it? I don’t know. He may have pulled up one day with it open, when I saw him.

The other first was spaghetti squash for dinner. I used to make it once a while and top it with some sauce and ground meat. It was something Dylan and I would eat since the rest of the family wouldn’t come near it. I had passed the squash a number of times in the market, but left it because I knew I would be the only one eating it and I didn’t want to go through the hassle. A week or two ago, I finally decided to get one. For a while, I was not sure whether I would make it or just pitch it. Instead, I made it last night, and thought of Dylan most of the time I was eating that over cooked vegetable.

I really miss him some days. He feels so far away now. I want him to be closer.

It was nice driving with the roof open for a little while. I wasn’t even half way home when I started to get cold and closed it up.