Over the course of the last two months we have had a few birthday dinners. No matter how many times the count of people is done there is ALWAYS an empty seat. I couldn’t help but take a picture, yes, with my bad picture phone, of how yet again Dylan is missing. I must do the count of people 5 or 6 times before making the reservations and it never fails. There is always a spot at the table for him, Is that something that over time stops? OR Is it supposed to be that way because he is always truly with us even if not in body?

Today marks 8 months since he was stolen from our family. My nephew, who I have always held this special spot in my heart for and would give anything to have him sitting at the table with us again. I miss you everyday!

Today, as is every 14th of the month, I will go through work listening to the music that Dylan showed me, Lifehouse, maybe even a ballad from Linkin Park and Artist vs. Poet which unfortunately, I did not get to listening to until he was gone; but somehow listening to them now makes me feel even closer to him.

Days like this are the hardest; but also days like this are when the strongest of memories come through. Maybe that chair is there because of the Chilli’s dinner we had with him for his 21st. Aunt Jennie and Uncle Lonny offered to buy the boy a drink and to have one with him. He just smiled that Dylan smile, glanced at his folks and said no, that’s ok. I miss you boy.

We had to make a trip back to Santa Cruz and we were not very confident in the van, so we decided to rent a car. This would have been on a break. I think it was spring break. Dylan and I were tasked with getting the rental car. As I recall, both of us were in a decent mood. We chatted quite a bit on the drive over.

When we were done with torturous task of getting the rental agreement etc. completed, I momentarily thought about letting Dylan drive the rental car. I opted not to, because I wanted to drive a newer car. I was still driving the ’96 Civic at the time. We were off. Dylan was following behind.

Maybe I needed to pee. Maybe I wanted to get home. Maybe I just wanted to drive fast. So that is what I did when I rounded the corner of Bouquet Canyon and Newhall Ranch. I punched the accelerator and took the rental… Well, lets just say I accelerated double digits over where I should have been. Not wanting to get too far behind me or wanting to feel the rush of the air through the car, Dylan stayed right with me.

This made it easy for the kind police officer hiding in a side street off of Newhall Ranch to pull both of us over in the bus stop near the Walgreens. I’m sitting there in the car waiting my turn thinking, “Why did he just have to stay with me?” He should have known better than to do what I do. He is supposed to learn from my mistakes. Haha. Then, it occurred to me. I couldn’t make him pay for the ticket. Shit, I was going to have to pay for two tickets for the joy of a little frivolous street racing in a rental car and a 15 year old tired Honda Civic. Ugh. He had to do his own online traffic school work though. I drew the line there.

I chose this picture, because his grin could be interpreted as mischievous. And he is wearing a Mario t-shirt that made me think of Mario Kart, a racing game.

Looking back now, it was worth it. I miss you, son.