All the motivation I needed: The house empty except for me and a couple dogs barking in my ear. The sun was still up, and I thought I would be back before it was gone for the day. Off I set on foot certain that I would be taking a different route than I have been recently. Also, fairly certain that I would be going further than I had in a few months. With Titus Androinicus playing in my ears, I was on my way. It took maybe only 100 steps for me to realize exactly where I was going.

Fifteen minutes later I realized that I was not going to make it to Heritage Park before the sunset, but by that point, I was committed. Maybe I would get there before it was dark.

As I made my way across the park, the moon and nearby street lights began to light my way more than the sun. I walked up to the tree and touched the trunk as I have done many times in the last 20 months. I walked around the tree and looked to west where the sun had been mere minutes before. There was a little light on the horizon. I touched the trunk of the tree again, and thought of the first time I was in this spot at night. It seems like yesterday and a thousand years ago at the same time. As I walked around that tree again, I kept thinking “I want more. I want more time. I just want more.”

—–

The last couple early fall seasons have become a time for me to reflect and remember that day Dylan and I went to Silver Strand beach on a cold September weekday. I recalled that day previously. I just find it comforting to remember such a great day for me and hopefully Dylan too. I have been doing this by heading out to catch some of the decent size fall waves. I haven’t been in the water at Silver Strand since that day.

This year I got lucky a couple times. Warm water and good timing got me out in the water two times. This last time the waves were really good sized. Like that day two years ago, I wanted to play it somewhat safe, but I wanted it to be exciting and a bit challenging. I went to Carpinteria and got myself out in the water before 8am.

As the tide started to head out after 9am, I got some breaks between sets. I thought of Dylan. I talked to Dylan as I floated over the swells. I wondered what he thought of Carpinteria. Then, as I sat out in the water waiting for more excitement to come my way, I looked toward the west end of the beach and smiled. I even let out a bit of an audible laugh. It was okay. Nobody except me, a few nearby seals in the water, a couple seagulls, and numerous anchovies were around to hear.

—–

I remembered the time Dylan pulled some “treasure” from the Carpinteria State Beach waters. I believe it was a Mitchell/Zimmerman camping trip. We were sitting on the beach doing pretty much nothing except wave and people watching when something caught our eye out in the water. Eventually, it was the topic of conversation as more of us noticed it. The sun was hitting something on the west side of the beach. Dylan seemed disinterested, but most of us were postulating our ideas. A balloon? A float? Eventually, the ideas got bigger and bigger. More than likely started by me. Maybe it was worth something. Maybe treasure. Or a weather balloon from U.C.S.B. with a very nice reward for the person that returned it to them. On and on it went. Dylan still seemed disinterested, but did peer down the beach a few times. From there, we began to try to find volunteers to go fish out our treasure. Since Dylan did not seem to care, he quickly became the primary target to persuade. The sun continued to glisten off our treasure. We were certain this object was now our path to riches. We needed to claim it before the glare attracted others to it. Just as the persuasion began to subside, Dylan pops up and says he will go get it. “Really? You will?” “Cool” “Be careful with our treasure.” Off he went. Down the beach, and without a care in the world, into the water and right through the breaking waves and past them. He reached the mother lode before anybody else. Yes!

I can still see his face as he walked back towards us with the treasure in his hands. A smile on his face, slightly shaking his head holding the object about shoulder height. It was priceless. When he brought the balloon or kite (trash) up to our camp, we just laughed and laughed. I think I thanked him for doing his part to keep the beach clean. It made the day.

—–

Making my way back to the car, I thought, “I want more.” I paused in front of a boy sitting at the foot of a sand dune with two particular trees in the background.

I want more.