Photo: Dylan riding home for the first time. Ten days after he was born.

“In his mother’s arms it was all the beauty I could take
Like the missing words to some prayer that I could never make
In a world so hard and dirty so fouled and confused
Searching for a little bit of God’s mercy
I found living proof”

Recently, I stumbled upon a Bruce Springsteen song that always meant so much to me. “Living Proof” is about somebody re-evaluating their life after the birth of his son. Dylan was so important in helping to make me the person I am today. He was just not a child of mine carrying around a few of my genes.

The birth of Dylan immediately changed my life forever. My life was touched by the whole process. I was most amazed by how I could love somebody so much that had barely taken his first breath. At that moment, I knew I would do anything for him. I would do anything to protect him from the perils of the world. It was the most incredible feeling I have ever experienced. I could not and can not imagine how anybody could ever feel differently. I’m sure this is why is sickens me to see how some people treat each other, especially their own children.

“You shot through my anger and rage
To show me my prison was just an open cage
There were no keys no guards
Just one frightened man and some old shadows for bars”

Goals and objectives became clear over the first few years of Dylan’s life. Eventually, we worked things out enough to fumble our way through life, and had another child that I loved as immediately as Dylan. A child that we are so — so very glad to have in our lives. A child that we would do anything to protect from the perils of the world. We found our “living proof” in our children too.

“Well now all that’s sure on the boulevard
Is that life is just a house of cards
As fragile as each and every breath
Of this boy sleepin’ in our bed”

Life is fragile when you’re baby boy. Life is fragile.

“It’s been along long drought baby
Tonight the rain’s pourin’ down on our roof
Looking for a little bit of God’s mercy”

“Living Proof” By Bruce Springsteen

Concept: Jim Zimmerman
Photographer: Yoti Telio

Like pornography, you know art when you experience art. The statue of David is art. A spread eagle naked young lady on a web site is not. The latest Björk album is a work of art. The latest vapid album by One Direction album is not.

Dylan and I often talked about the merits of art. We would discuss what made art “good”. I told him many times that I thought that a truly great work of art can only be created when it contains some expression of the artist themselves. It has to have a connection to the artist that makes it real. He understood what I was saying and would site an example. One such example was a particular Senses Fail album for him.

I had an idea for something visual I wanted to create. The concept was very clear in my mind. Symbolic, yet obvious to anybody who knew Dylan. I wasn’t sure if I would have the courage to see it through. I discussed the idea with Marisa. She would have to be okay with it, because I needed her to be part of it. She was great and did not hesitate for a moment. I told her I wanted to try to create art, and not just a picture of us. I’m not sure she understood, but went along with me. I decided that it would be a gift to Donna for her birthday. I kept asking Marisa if she thought Donna would like it. I might have been looking for an easy exit from this idea.

I am glad that I did it. And I am glad that Marisa was so good about it. Otherwise, I may not have done it. I felt a great deal of relief after it was completed. It felt good to get it out of my system. I’m not sure that we created art, but we tried to create something to visually represent Dylan and how I have been feeling without him here.

Special thank you to Yoti Telio at Santa Clarita Photographic Studio for being patient with me and being open to my ideas. I needed his expertise to not only make my idea a reality, but to make it work.

Link to full image.

“Moments of clarity are so rare.
I better document this.”

Björk