When the kids wouldn’t cooperate with me at one of the most famous photo taking locations in the world, I told them they would regret it when they got older. Dylan had no opportunity to regret.

Dylan was not a “things” person. He liked “things” like everybody else, but it was not something that occupied his mind. He liked nice clothes, but didn’t constantly let everybody know that that was what he wanted. He wanted a new computer and complained about his, but didn’t come out and say “I WANT A NEW COMPUTER.” I liked that about him.

I think in the last couple years of Dylan’s life he started to discover the best part of Christmas and other significant days of the year. The giving. I tried to explain to the kids that there is nothing better than giving a gift that they have put some thought into. I think Dylan was starting to understand that, when he got Donna a picture frame filled with pictures of him with Marisa and Thalia for his last Mother’s day.

It wasn’t the gifts that made Christmas 2005 memorable for us as a family. It was the experience. We decided to go some place for Christmas. Yosemite.

We had fog, snow, crime and ice skating. And Christmas, of course.

As we were driving through the Central Valley, we hit really thick fog. We didn’t know if it was the infamous “tule fog” or not, but that is what we called it. After that, any fog was joked about as being “tule.”

When we arrived in the Yosemite valley we were disappointed to find no snow. The kids were especially upset. We had all the cold, but none of the white stuff. I promised them we would find some snow before we went home.

Somebody at one of the places we stayed directed us to a ski resort that was not yet open, but would have snow for the kids to play in. It wasn’t far, so we went there one day. Well, I wasn’t content to just play in a drift beside the parking area. I thought it might be fun to hike up the skiing area a little bit and slide down it. So, Dylan and I jumped over the barbed wire fence with aid of a large drift and started to the mountain. We thought it would be so cool, until some guy with bullhorn decided to threaten us with trespassing. Back to the drifts and small hill we went. I got a lot of “told ya”s from Donna for that one.

The kids snowman attempt.
Clearly, we were out of our element.

One of the things that really stands out to me on that trip was when we went for a short hike on one of the trails in the valley. It led to one of the falls and there was a beginning to another trail that went up by the falls. I remember standing there thinking that I would like to take that hike with Dylan. It didn’t happen and probably wouldn’t have, but these are the kinds of things that make the days so hard. Now, it is not even possible.

Another highlight of the trip was ice skating. I can’t really think of a better place to have three Southern California natives step onto the ice for the first time than the floor Yosemite valley. We wouldn’t tell Marisa where we were going. She was so excited when she saw the sign hanging over the entrance. I was glad to share that first experience with Dylan and Marisa. Of course, Donna wasn’t exactly a pro, but it wasn’t her first time. At least, we got to do that with Dylan.

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“So this is Xmas
and what have you done”
John Lennon

Thus far — survived.

Sometimes, when Dylan would be in my thoughts, I would stop by his room. I would sit in his desk chair and visit with him. Ask him how things were going.

We might compare our likes/dislikes of Windows 8, as I would click around on his desktop computer. He built that computer himself. He got really good grades. One year, I told him that if he finished the year with straight A’s, I would buy him the parts for a computer and I would walk him through building it. I think he enjoyed it and learned something about the parts of a computer. When we went to buy a case, he wanted this big bulky one, because it looked cool. That thing was huge. It barely fit in his desk cubby. I pushed back a little, but in the end it was his choice. At various times in these discussions, we would talk about the feasibility of upgrading it, which never happened.

We would talk about school, life, music, gaming, etc. Sometimes, I would pass on a life lesson in hopes that he would learn from my mistakes. Which has seemed more like a life lesson for me. I learned that my children would make their own mistakes, and then would hopefully learn the very same lessons that I have tried to pass on to them. I have learned that many of life’s lessons seemingly must be learned first hand.

Dylan has been my thoughts more than usual the last few days. I would really like to stop by his room and visit with him.

A few years ago, I got a new pair of work shoes for Christmas. The first or second time I wore them to work, I noticed that somebody else had the exact same shoes. That was that. I am pretty sure I didn’t wear them again after that.

Dylan had a job interview I believe, and needed to wear some nice shoes, of which he had none at the time. In came my barely worn work shoes to the rescue, since Dylan and I wore exactly the same size shoe. He hated the shoes, but wore them for the interview. It was then that he referred to them as “clown shoes.” It brings a smile to my face just imagining him calling them that. He would say it with as much disgust in his voice as he could muster. I don’t remember if he got that job, but he did find a job, and that job required black shoes. He was stuck with the clown shoes until he bought some different ones. Being a young man with little money to “throw away” on something as impractical as a pair of work shoes, he decided to stick with the clown shoes.

The clown shoes, along with Dylan’s others, including his pair of shoes that I wore to his service, were thrown into a pile in garage, when I started on the flooring in his room. There, they remained until the rain came. Storm Watch December 2014 (at least for a couple days). Like Dylan, I guess I didn’t want to waste money on work shoes. Needless to say, I discovered that when I walked on the rain soaked parking lot on my way into work, my socks quickly became soaking wet. I dug the clown shoes out of the pile in garage. I couldn’t help but smile when I told Donna how I discovered I needed new shoes, and that I was wearing the clown shoes for now. Both of us always referring to them as “clown shoes.”