I have made many, many mix tapes and playlist over the years.  However, in recent years, they have been  made as motivators for me when I run.  When I used to make mix tapes, every song had a meaning and a place.  When I set out to make a playlist of songs by Dylan or songs that were a part of Dylan’s life, I wanted perfection.  What set me off to attempt to make such a playlist was a couple things.  When I discovered some music Dylan had recorded on his computer, I thought I could put something together from that.  Then, with the impending day on the boat to spread Dylan’s ashes, it evolved into something different.  It became a group of songs which I have played a portion of almost every day in the last month.  Many times I have thought of expanding it too. Orignally, this was meant to be played while we were on the boat. In restrospect, I am glad it wasn’t, because I never felt like it was good enough. I was as frustrated with it as Dylan must have been while trying finish “Parked.”

Track 1: I Love You Dylan

I suspect that this was recorded around the time of the QuickCam memories in 1996.  I wanted to record something and play it back to make sure everything was working.  I told Dylan to say something — anything.  Donna might have told him what to say, because he didn’t know what to say.  I managed to keep one, because at one point later on, I put it up on our first web site.  When I did it, I told Dylan that now anybody in the world can hear him say he loves his Daddy.  I’m not sure he believed me then.
 

Track 2: Beautiful Boy by John Lennon

Even though this song was released thirteen years before Dylan was born, it always made me think of him.  When Dylan was born, it really felt like it was the three of us (at the time) and the rest of the world.  And I think that is the way this song comes off.  “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.”

Track 3: This Land Is Your Land

This was recorded in June of 2001.  I’m pretty sure this is probably the first time Dylan played in front a group of people.  Jerry Danielson, Dylan’s guitar instructor, accompanies Dylan on this.  Dylan did a great job on the Woody Guthrie classic.
 

Track 4: Nine In The Afternoon by Panic At The Disco

This one was hard for me to come up with.  Originally, I wanted to put something from Sgt. Pepper here.  I kept thinking of “When I’m 64”, but “She’s Leaving Home” might have been better, if I choose to stick with the Beatles.  Sgt. Pepper was important to Dylan and us as a family for a couple reasons.  The first reason was because of what Dylan accomplished.  As Dylan’s guitar playing progressed, it was clear that he knew the basics really well.  He started learning a song here and there from Sgt. Pepper, until eventually, he was motivated to want to play the entire album.  I loved that he took the initiative and was determined to do it.  He pretty much breezed through the whole thing, until he got to George’s lead on “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)”.  He struggled with it, but ultimately he did prevail.  I wish I had thought of trying to record it.

The other reason Sgt. Pepper was important was because we, as a family, wasted quite a few afternoons playing the album from beginning to end on Rock Band.  We would switch around instruments, and sing our favorites or the one we thought we could sing.  Good fun.

In the end, I went with a Panic At The Disco song.  Appropriately, it is a very beatlesque sounding one.  This was a song that Dylan and Marisa used to call up a lot on Rock Band too.  I didn’t really care for it, but usually enjoyed playing it, in the end.  But, Panic At The Disco was a band that Dylan and I talked about quite a bit.  I had heard of the band, but wasn’t real familiar with the music from their debut album that had been out maybe a year at the time.  I told him I would listen to it, because he really enjoyed it.  That album was my running buddy for quite a while.  It grew on me.  I always suspected that his favorite song on the album was “I Write Sins Not Trajedies”, because of the line: “Haven’t you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?”  The kinds of conversations we used to have about bands like Panic At The Disco always reminded me of the discussions I would have about music with my friends when I was in high school.  I always liked a good discussion about music, and Dylan and I had many.  In fact, just before the accident he was talking about a band he really liked called †††.  Surprisingly EDM for him.  That is  usually my thing.

Track 5: Parked (fast instrumental)

This is a guitar take of “Parked” I found on Dylan’s computer.  Clearly, he had the chords he wanted, but was not sure about the pace.

Track 6: Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings

When I started on this list, I wanted to try to find songs that meant something to other people in Dylan’s life besides myself.  I asked Marisa one evening, and she immediately said “Check Yes, Juliet”.  I like this song.  I had not heard this one before.  Very EMO, which Dylan liked.

Track 7: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

This was recorded in December of 2001. The video is so funny. Dylan is bobing his head, and you can see him counting. He knew the song well, and I guess at this point he was a road verteran because he seemed oblivious that he was in front of people. This was probably his second performance in front of people. Jerry accompanied Dylan on this one as well.

Track 8: You And Me by Lifehouse

This time the song idea came from Thalia. I asked her for a few songs that were their favorites as a couple. She gave me three. Of course, since it was my list I got to pick and choose. I’m sorry Dylan and Thalia, but I tried First Kiss by A Rocket To The Moon. I found the song to be mediacore at best, so all I heard was country. I can tolerate country sounding music much, much more than I used to, but the song still needs to be good. Instead, I went with the Lifehouse song here. This is a band that I have listened to their debut album a few times, but only really liked “Hanging By A Moment.” “You And Me” is a nice song, and kind fit in with direction the list was going.

Track 9: Bottom Of A Bottle

I think I would probably call this the apex of Dylan’s public guitar playing. He played this during a talent show at North Park Elementary school. This would have probably been in 2005. Organizer of the event allowed Dylan to go long on his time, because he was demonstrating a talent and he was pretty good in comparison. What was great about this one was that Dylan really liked this song a lot. It was introduced to him by Jerry Danielson, his long time guitar teacher by that point. The song is by a band Jerry’s son is in named Smile Emtpy Soul. Dylan liked this so much, he went out and bought the album. I liked it when he found something he really liked and wanted to play it. And for the most part it showed in his playing. Kind of funny having a sixth grader play a song about drug addition at an elementary school talent show. But it rocked!

Track 10: Stay by Artist Vs Poet

This is another song name that Thalia sent me. I actually like this song, and it fits great as the playlist comes down the final stretch. AVP usually sound a little too immature for me. Dylan and Thalia were huge fans of this band. In fact, a week or two before the accident, we found out they were planning on going down to San Diego to see the band. Donna and I weren’t thrilled with the idea of them driving down there and back right afterwards. They returned safe and sound at around 2am. Little did we know what awaited us a few days later, and feet from our home, not miles. Feet. I tried numerous times to determine the number of feet from our house to that corner before we moved bought the house. I was concerned about the proximity to the power lines, and electo-magnetic frequencies. Why? I was concerned about the safety of our family. Feet from our house. Four to five hundred feet from our house.

Track 11: Parked

This is the unfinished song that Dylan recorded in August of 2013. I love this, because there are parts where I can hear his voice as it was before the accident. I miss that voice. The lyrics are pretty good, and you can hear his voice.

Track 12: Rooftops by Pela

This:
…
we could sleep in the car
we could listen to songs
but i can tell by your face
we dont fit in this place
and you knew all along
all along
…

along with cyclical guitar outro just fits. I can see a young, idealistic couple longing to get out of Santa Clarita and run off somewhere to finish school or experiance life some other place. Feeling that they didn’t belong here. Maybe someday they would come back and raise a family of their own. Cyclical.

Track 13: I’ll Be There

A complete thought in 2011. This great because it is all Dylan. He chose the song, originally by A Change Of Pace.He tried a couple others first, but couldn’t get them right. He sang the song. And he finished the song. Because he wanted to. The bridge is the part that affects me.

Track 14: 7th And 17th by Pela

I chose this initially to end with. The sound of kids playing affects me now. Even before all this. I think I know how grandparents or potential grandparents must feel at this point in their lives. The loss of Dylan only stirs up those emotions even more now. I wonder about things like my grandfather. If he were with us today, he would wonder about the legacy of his family’s name. Will it continue? Dylan wanted to get married. Dylan wanted to have children. Dylan had met somebody that he was very much in love with. Dylan and Thalia had plans. Responsible plans. Plans they never got to see come to fruition. At this point, we don’t know if it will continue.

Track 15: Early Over Last

The first few times I listened to this, I cried. The combination of Dylan and Donna laughing over some of the last original guitar music Dylan had recorded was just unbearable. The dichotomy of the elated, unsolicited giggles of a young Dylan with his mommy over the slow meloncholy instrumental take on Dylan’s original, Parked is, I think, a great emotional expression of what it is to have a child and then lose him. As it fades, I realize that my son is not coming home.